because mad cow disease was already taken.

so hello, good friend! i wanna be next to you.

so take me! and save me! and change me! and make me! and embrace me! and engrave my heart for you! nonnono cuz i cant go on w/o you

and no! none of it true! cuz i never knew you

and the truth of i is, i wanna be like you!

but now im on my way to maKE this claim, ill make it stay, that NO! none of its true, cuz i never knew you!

and the truth of it is, i wanna be like you!

from my heart, for it's true~

cuz i never knew you

-------------------------------------------

wow, im not so good at typing fast. at least not this song...

so what is really good? kinda stressing out lately lol. ive got a bajilion things i need to do, and im so busy all the time and tired! and the last few days all i want to do when i get off work is nap and sleep and then not sleep durign the night so when i go into work im kinda tired lol. and its so hot and humid there, im like sleep walking... like... cranberries zombeh kinda stuff.

i just have a lot of bills and stuff coming up soon, and things i have to get done to be responsible. a lot of it has to do with the apartment and stuff, and it does bother me that TJ likes to help me do nothing.

the only thing hes good at lately is bitching. i swear to god i just wanna throw him in his room w/ nothing but his own shit and a box of tampons.

i swear to god.

speaking of God, i was thinking today how the weather is all random and crazy and how it could be the end of the world or w/e.

but i also thought that there have probably ben millions of times in the earth's history where people thought exactly the same thing i did, because the weather is always crazy.

im talking to cassandra again from high school.

that really is the most exciting thing i guess with me.

it was so refreshing... like.. all the people i meet these days dont really trust me.. dont really open up to me. keep me at a distance, and i can understand. the majority of people in my situation are creeps, and it sucks. im a nice guy.

but yea, it's just like... we drove around a bit, and she just talked. i mean, i talked to, right, but it was like... it really felt good to be trusted like that. she's totally an awesome person, and it was cool to get feedback on how i acted in high school and stuff. i guess i havent really thought about it too terribly much, but i have changed a lot since then.

especially with how i value other people, and their opinion. i guess i dont live my life like im inside a video game as much anymore.

i dunno if thats the right analogy.

any case... work is fun. third shift soon. first shift hours are killing me.

my apartment has stuff in it!

what cracks me up!

blah~!

A long december and theres reason to believe
Maybe this year will be better than the last
I cant remember the last thing that you said as you were leaven
Now the days go by so fast
And its one more day up in the canyons
And its one more night in hollywood
If you think that I could be forgiven...i wish you would
The smell of hospitals in winter
And the feeling that its all a lot of oysters, but no pearls
All at once you look across a crowded room
To see the way that light attaches to a girl
And its one more day up in the canyons
And its one more night in hollywood
If you think you might come to california...i think you should
Drove up to hillside manor sometime after two a.m.
And talked a little while about the year
I guess the winter makes you laugh a little slower,
Makes you talk a little lower about the things you could not show her
And its been a long december and theres reason to believe
Maybe this year will be better than the last
I cant remember all the times I tried to tell myself
To hold on to these moments as they pass
And its one more day up in the canyon
And its one more night in hollywood
Its been so long since Ive seen the ocean...i guess I should

so work is fine. nothing to dread at all, it's not difficult. the people are pretty nice, all a lot older than me, but that's fine. i know why im working, and im working for it. im not trying to have a party at work everyday, so life is fine.

im also moving lots of things into my new apartment. can you believe im paying to live there right now and im still sleeping here on this broke ass couch?

wanna take a wild guess why?

fucking ffxi. (yay emotion!) stupid jami cant even play a toon w/o running into the ground.. and tbh i get lonely at nights w/o anyone to talk to. so i tried to take it really slow...

fucking ffxi.

i just want something to do every once in awhile, people to talk at when i get lonely, not even rly care about drops, just have some fun.

then i met anna ._.

and the past few weeks every waking moment that i have free has been trying to hang out w/ her. it was cool, we were talking on MSN, like talking, like vent. she's from britain, it was great fun. nothing serious of course, i cant quite be bothered with that non-sense :p

but yea, her friend started playing the day before yesterday, he was off two months.

she dropped me just like that =/

i hate ffxi... now i feel even worse and i wasted the entire last few weeks lol

oh well, sky tomoz, i did lots of ls events, so perhaps jar will bless me >_>

stupid emotes are all over my writing again.. that really turns girls off when i talk to them like on CL or w/e!

anyway.. i really just felt like posting. anna has me feeling shit today. so.. cheers! until next time i get emo.

oh hey, i got my insurance cards in the mail today, i can go break my leg now! now i just need that car stuff and that eileen stuff and im like... back in good shape lol

i did ask the guy about my title again today when i paid my car. aparently they had sent it to atlantic beach and just left it on my old doorstep....

blah! its midnight! i got work in a few hours;; stoopit 1st shift.

is you rollin ?

the lottery lady told me how she really felt about me tonight. in 4 visits she told me i was 1.going to hell 2.very offensive, and she liked other people that work at speedway a lot better. and 3. i need to learn that some people just don't like to be joked with.

i really liked her.


so i start my new job tomorrow. i don't actually feel that much dread or anything about it, not really too anxious. thinking about it, i can see how it can be like life was when i was in the navy. but hell, i always said, after what i did in the navy, anything else will seem easy.

why am i so emo?

~in case you failed to notice, in case you failed to see, this is my heart bleeding before you..~

it's always fun figuring out who deleted me off their friends list on myspace. the only notification i get is my friend list number goes down.

tonight it was elise~

i guess it's sad... i have so few friends i can tell.

busy last few days. i quit speedway.

it sucked so bad, i've never had a boss that i was had such a positive relationship with. it felt like absolute shit to tell him these next two weeks will be my last. but i have a -real- job again.

whatever that means.

i guess it means im not 'wasting my life'.

in other words i joined the rest of the world in hating what im going to be doing again everyday.

i finished all my paperwork at liebert. im making enough to get me and TJ a two bedroom apartment on my income alone. well, credit allowing. i filled out all the paperwork yesterday, paid some money, they should get back to me on a final answer by monday. if that goes well, we'll be sleeping on the floor by aug.24th.

it is very exciting.

also started doing some paperwork for me and eileen.

working on changing my car's registration to ohio.

forward progress everywhere, i should be happy.

josh is upstairs with a girl we met up with tonight.

alcohol doesnt help.

i need an outlet with more people. the bar isn't working out for me with tj being so broke~